Dearest Diary,
As I have previously made very evident, my mocks have now arrived and my heart has left my soul. I tried to not let is effect my mental health, but what can i do? I revise so much only to be gnawed by my own anxiety. I did feel well yesterday for my psychology test, and really did try, however today for my english literature exam I completely crumbled. It feels like the hours i put into practicing only came back at me to call me loser, my mind pacing with the ideas but my body refused to cooperate. I'm not sure what i can do now other than do prove myself to my teachers that i can do this, but how? I'm scared they already have this fixed perception of me. I don't speak, but when i do it id very minimal. i can't help it, im just weird. The only way to even attempt to salvage myself, would be to take to them, but fear peers over me like throws a lump in my throat whenever i speak. It might be because i hate being perceived, especially when people look me directly in the eyes.I hate it. I wish there was a way to send telepathic signals from my brain, but for now i just have to suck it up and go up to them or show them my efforts it hopes that they recognise it. Also need to revise for Sociology so i will just shove my feelings down for a bit, or leave them all here. Bye!